Finding Courage Everyday
As I turned my journal page there was a divider with this quote by Peter F. Drucker, “In every success story you will find someone who has made a courageous decision.”
That quote really hit home for me since I have spent a lot of time thinking about courage lately. Since I made the decision to move to France and followed through on my plan, I have had many friends and even strangers tell me that I am courageous, but the strange thing was, for me I never felt this as being or doing something courageous.
To me it has always felt like I had simply decided, laid out my plan to implement that decision and I have been in execution mode ever since bringing that decision to life. I was having a very hard time connecting to being courageous or thinking of myself as such, then Paolo gave me the opportunity to find it.
You see, two weeks ago now, Paolo and I had moved to Céret. Céret is the next place on my list to check out before deciding where to permanently settle in France. The move had gone easily enough with me loading my car that morning in Perigueux and Paolo and I enjoying the rainy four-and-a-half-hour drive from Perigueux to Céret. With every drive I enjoy seeing another part of this country and its beauty as well as using the time to listen to an audiobook.
My only reservation on moving day comes from not knowing what to expect from the next Airbnb and this one certainly had some surprises for me but I will save that for another blog. On this day we walked into the Airbnb, dripping wet from the pouring rain, thankfully I had some help from the owner with all the bags given the weather and the journey to that front door but again that is for another blog. Today, we walked in and within an hour Paolo got sick, he had been fine all day although not eating a lot since he always gets a bit anxious the minute the suitcases come out and he sees me packing. A quick clean up and we settled in to just relax on the couch. The next day his upset had traveled to his bum, and we spent the day with frequent walks outside. I eliminated treats and just tamed his diet a bit and hoped that the next day it would start to turn around. This started on Saturday and on Tuesday morning when it was still going on and his appetite has continued to decrease, I knew that he needed a vet.
It was 9am on Tuesday morning, worried about him and having just moved 4 and a half hours away from his regular vet my mind immediately began to plot out getting in the car and driving back north to his vet. He was sleeping in my lap, I knew he didn’t feel good. I started to look at the workday that would begin in my afternoon and see what I could do to reschedule everything. I had a completely stacked day and sick Paolo, it just felt overwhelming so of course the self-deprecating voice in my head jumped in to remind me that I had put us in this spot, a place where I felt hampered in getting Paolo what he needed. When that voice started, I knew that I was off track because that voice just tries to scare me rather than reminding me that I am perfectly capable.
Instead of choosing to argue with that voice I just decided to breathe and go back to a basic question. If I needed to get Paolo care right now and I didn’t have time to get to his vet, what would I do? And with a clear head and that question I knew immediately what I needed to do.
You see, in France, lots of things operate via Facebook. Communities will have groups where you can meet people, find out what is going on and ask for recommendations. I was already a part of a few groups in Céret, so I got on Facebook and posted in the most active group explaining the situation and asking for a veterinarian recommendation. The post was in French, but I also asked that the recommendation be with someone who spoke some English if possible since I knew that it would be easier for me to convey what had been happening with Paolo in my first language rather than my second. I knew if that wasn’t available, I would just work through it and look up any words on google translate that I may not know in the moment.
Within ten minutes there were about 10 responses to my post and about half of those recommended the same doctor who did speak English. I looked him up, as it turned out he was literally a 3-minute walk down the street. I called. I explained to him in French what I needed, given my accent he asked if I would like to speak in English to which I said a grateful, “oui merci!” And with that, he listened to our four days of sick puppy saga and told me to wait about an hour since he had a full waiting room at the time and then come on over.
Doctor’s offices as well as veterinarian offices in France all have a waiting room where you just go in and sit down, there is no receptionist, you just simply wait. The doctor will come out when they finish with one patient and ask who is next, there is no pressure from anyone in the waiting room that anyone feels more important, everyone simply waits their turn in the order that they came in. Today, Paolo and I were the only ones waiting when we got there so we just sat down while the doctor finished with the current patient and then he opened the door and asked us in.
A quick exam, diagnosis of intestinal upset with three medications prescribed and a shot that included antibiotics and an anti-diarrhea medication. Sixty euros and a lovely conversation about my decision to move, him saying that we should switch to French since it would be good for my learning and then in French talking about sailing. Fifteen minutes later we were walking back toward home on the mend.
As we were walking down the street, I felt so much better, so relieved that I hadn’t listened to the initial panic and drove all that way to our “regular” vet, as if anything in my life is very “regular” right now anyway. I was certainly grateful that I hadn’t listened to that self-deprecating “mean girl” voice that lives in my head. I realized at that moment that I had made the courageous choice. The courageous choice was to ask for help and brave the language difference knowing that sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard but every time, everyone has been quite lovely in the end. I had made the courageous and practical choice and for that I felt courageous probably for the very first time on this journey.
I find it deeply meaningful to question everything and ponder the questions of life for growth opportunities. The following are a few questions that you may want to ponder in your own journal, morning commute or mid-day walk.
- What does courage feel like to me?
- When have I been courageous?
- Do I feel courageous?
- What would be the most courageous choice that I could choose today?
I blog because I love the process of questioning my life, questioning my beliefs and questioning the stories that I tell myself. If you want to question yourself, then subscribing to my email list will ensure you have an opportunity to do just that. I blog about once or twice a month so you will not receive a ton of emails from me, only what I hope to be the best questions that we can ask ourselves to move our life toward our dreams each day.
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