Can love be too fast?

After weeks of texting and talking for hours on the phone, our first date was 30 hours in San Francisco. Still being committed to my own growth I vowed to be present to my own experience, to stay in the moment, don’t compare to the past as that would be pointless and don’t head off…

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What’s in the attic?

Today, with the help of a friend, we pulled 15 or so boxes out of the attic. I remembered when we moved into this house 5 ½ years ago, after we had unpacked everything, we “needed” a few boxes sat in the dining room for a few months before we finally said, let’s just put them in the attic. Some of the things we knew we wouldn’t need, those few boxes of the kids’ school mementos things that I have moved from house to house to house.

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A mother’s lesson in resilience

When I was small, I saw my mother as bigger than life, I put her up on a pedestal. I lifted her up there because she showed up for activities at school, diving right in and raising money for the annual school fundraiser. I lifted her up there because she pushed my sisters and I, to build a big Gingerbread House for the annual school Christmas Festival. I lifted her up there because she would put her makeup on and put make up on me sometimes too.

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This is the best I can do today.

I am making this statement to myself often these days. I rise each morning, make coffee, meditate, journal and then review my to do list. There are days when I feel like my very ability to show up at all depends on that to do list. It gives me a place to go, something to strive toward, it gives me something to focus on, especially on days when all else feels difficult.

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Nothing to say…

I have written three blogs in the last three days and yet I can’t seem to get any of them to the point where I feel good about posting them.

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All of my life I have been too busy. Too busy to notice that I had a choice in my busyness. I had instead gotten on a conveyor belt of “I have to’s” and “I should do’s,” showing up at the airport each week fully packed out of a rote set of tasks that I no longer had to even think about, I just did.

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Hard work and asking for help!

The call came Friday, my husband’s doctor’s nurse, I got excited, I thought she was calling with a surgery date, finally, we could get on the road to healing. Instead she said, “so what was his quit date?” I said, “What do you mean?” She said, his last day smoking, I said that he had smoked the day before so I guess it will be today if it has to be. She explained that in order to get his surgery authorized there needed to be 6 weeks of no smoking.

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My grandmother passed in 2004, from a sudden heart attack in the hospital. At the age of 80, she had actually worked that day. She was always working, my grandmother was. When I was younger, she was a bank branch manager.

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I Believe…

I believe in rocking chairs & afternoon naps.

I believe in red roses being a message of passionate love.

I believe in days at the beach and floating on the ocean while making a story up on the shapes of clouds.

I believe in health care for all and life is to be lived without struggle.

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