Decisions & Assumptions
About three years ago, I was introduced to Human Design, at the time I was looking to understand more about me. I guess I thought at the time that by understanding more about myself I would understand what had gotten me to this point in my life where I had needed to blow it all up and start over in many ways.
I learned to read my design chart and read that I had what is referred to as Splenic Authority. In Human Design your Authority is how you make decisions. I read that someone with Splenic Authority gets a gut feeling, a sense of knowing and will in that moment decide. I remember reading those words and thinking to myself, exactly, that is exactly how I decide things. If that feeling isn’t there, I will drag my feet, I will not commit, I will hold myself back perhaps looking for the feeling to show up.
After reading those words and understanding how my decision-making works, I stopped making myself wrong for how I make decisions. I have a knowing of my process.
But as life does it has taught me that there are also nuances and factors to consider.
A little over a year ago I went to a weekend workshop, to be in a room full of people after the social deprivation of the pandemic felt amazing. I went that weekend with the goal of being present and processing the material being covered for myself without considering myself as being part of a unit, a couple.
I arrived, passed the pre-entry covid test and took my mask off. I was able to hug friends who I hadn’t seen in a few years, and I got to meet new friends.
I remember meeting Aaron (not his real name), he introduced himself and as we stood there talking in a group of a few people some of whom already knew Aaron I learned a few details about him. I immediately felt a sense that this is someone who is trustworthy and loyal, those things I felt as a knowing.
At the time I also had thoughts of, this person is likely rigid, perhaps conservative (not in the political sense) but perhaps saw the world in a way that would not be as open to someone like me.
At the time I was aware of these thoughts but what I didn’t realize I was doing was I was in fact deciding who this person was and that was also deciding how he could show up for me or relate to me.
I am embarrassed now that I did this, and I feel terrible that I did. Since that weekend we have stayed in touch, through that process he has revealed more of himself to me, and it has surprised me every time how far off base I was. As it has turned out he is not at all who I had decided that he was.
Thankfully, I have gotten to apologize for my previous decision of who he was. We have become friends and for that I am truly grateful. This experience has made me realize that my decision making, when it comes from that sense of knowing in my gut, is spot on. But when I decide with my brain, the information goes through a set of filters based on programming, social conditioning, experiences, etc. and those filters pollute the information. Thus any decision made using that process, highly unreliable. Not to mention that in terms of getting to know new people it is just a much better approach to keep an open mind and allow them to reveal themselves to you. Not to mention that it can be much more fun.
I am grateful for this lesson and the questions that I am continuing to challenge myself with to make sure that I am not deciding something without having all the necessary information.
I hope these words and my own questions get you thinking or writing or both. Here are a few questions for you to take to your favorite journal, walk in nature or morning commute.
- What have I decided about the people in my life? Have they shown me that that is true, or did I make it up?
- What have I decided about my life / work / finances / body / health / fill in the blank here? Do I have factual evidence for any of those decisions?
- Where in my life have I made decisions based on proven facts vs. my own conjecture?
This blog is dedicated to the process of posing questions, uncovering new layers and unexpected answers along the way. If you want to expand yourself with the power of simple, thought provoking questions, join my email community and I’ll send you a reminder when new issues are published.
I blog about once a month so you will not receive a ton of emails from me, only what I hope to be the best questions that we can ask ourselves to be better tomorrow than we were today.
In love & connection,
Renée
Stay up-to-date on the writing journey!
From behind-the-scene stories to life lessons - you'll hear it all!
Thank you for subscribing! I've sent you an email with more - see you there.