The Stories We Tell Ourselves

My soul sister’s text appeared on my phone. “I am having microblading done, someone I know told me that it hurts. Send thoughts and prayers for me, I am scared.”

My reply, “I had it done, it didn’t hurt at all. It doesn’t have to hurt unless you want it to.”

Someone I love very deeply once told me that he can never be my equal. It was heartbreaking to hear when I know it is not at all true, but it is true for him because he has made it true.

One of my shaman mentors has a saying, “It is only true for you if you make it true for you.” This is such a powerful statement, and it is so true.

Our beliefs, our own story, the things that we regularly tell ourselves are the very things that create our reality.

A week or so ago I was texting with a friend in Spain, and I made a simple statement to the effect of “there are no evolved, divine masculine men anywhere”. Thankfully, he called my statement into question. It was exactly the spotlight that I needed, I was making that my very reality when it didn’t need to be because the fact is that there are plenty of evolved, divine masculine men everywhere. I needed to stop the story to see that.

There are days that I walk into the gym telling myself I am tired, that I just need to “get through” my workout. These workouts are a struggle, I feel slow, sluggish, like I can’t lift another pound.

There are also days that I walk into the gym telling myself that I am in great shape, strong, lean, capable. These workouts fly by, I do more, I try heavier weights, the workout is challenging but I feel like I can defeat the challenge.


As a thought experiment when I have walked into the gym feeling sluggish and tired, I have created a script in my head. The minute I begin an exercise I repeat to myself, “I am strong, I am lean, I am fit….” Doing this changes everything, doing this allows me to shift from struggle to conquering a workout.

My mind and the story that I am telling myself creates my reality. The mind is a very powerful tool that we can use to change our life. When I tell myself I am smart, I am capable, that I can do anything I put my mind to, that very outcome is what I experience.

Imagine for a moment what change you could bring to your life if you got out in front of the stories that you tell yourself.

I have a story that I tell myself that I can manage larger and larger projects. That has been my reality. I have a story that I am healthy, that has been my reality. I have a story that I look younger than my age and that too has been my reality.

I am on a journey of questioning all the stories that I tell myself, particularly the limiting stories, the stories that keep me playing small. How can I change my life in meaningful and positive ways by changing the story I tell myself?

I hope these words and my own questions get you thinking or writing or both. Here are a few questions for you to take to your favorite journal, morning shower or commute.

  • What story do I tell myself about…
    • who I am, what I am capable of?
    • my physical, mental, and emotional health?
    • the work that I do in the world.
    • how am I loved? who I love? how that love looks?
    • about how abundant I am? how much money do I have?
  • How could I change any of these stories and change my life?
  • What have I made true for me by the stories I have told myself?

This blog is dedicated to the process of posing questions, uncovering new layers and unexpected answers along the way. If you want to expand yourself with the power of simple, thought provoking questions, join my email community and I’ll send you a reminder when new issues are published.

I blog about once a month so you will not receive a ton of emails from me, only what I hope to be the best questions that we can ask ourselves to be better tomorrow than we were today.

In love & connection,


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