Choices in Perigueux
As I write this, it is the middle of February and my time in Perigueux has been wonderful even if the weather has tried to rain on my parade.
The center of Perigueux is blocked off to cars so you can meander cobblestone walks with lots of shops and at the center is the main square area in front of the Cathédrale Saint-Front . Each Wednesday and Saturday there is a market in the square.
One of the shops in the center of the village near the square and the center of life for many English speakers in Perigueux is the English language bookstore, Boukies! Boukies is owned by Dave who immigrated from the US almost 20 years ago when he met and married his French wife.
Boukies is where the Dordogne Women’s Club International meets for coffee each Wednesday. This is where I have found friendship and sisterhood in Perigueux with an incredible mix of women from all over the globe all English speakers although English is not necessarily their first language but all building lives in France. Some on their own, some with partners, some retired and some building businesses. This group has filled my Wednesday mornings with stimulating conversation and often a deep investigation of the meaning of words as we try to navigate the many languages that we all share and find ways to convey meaning in the same way in France.
Just this last Wednesday we were talking about a brochure that my friend Sandra was working on for a class that she is teaching on eating foods for your brain health. Now in English we can use the term “Brain Food.” Two short punchy words that we all understand mean that it is food that is good for our brain. But if you translate that to French “nourriture pour le cerveau.” Not short, or punchy for a brochure that you want to grab someone’s attention. This is the way with the French language, it is full of words and often it takes many of them to convey the same kind of meaning and many times the meaning of a specific word changes depending on the context with which you use it. Such as the word “tirer” which can mean to pull something or shoot something or to draw a card or to print something or extract something and a few others. As they say “c’est trés compliqué,” it is very complicated.
Boukies is also the location of a language exchange each Friday night, a large gathering of people, men and women from all over the world including French people gather to have a glass of wine or a coffee and discuss all manner of topics. Just last night I had a deep conversation about the impacts of political parties digging in and no longer looking for common ground and the terrible impact that is having across the globe including here in France. This discussion took place with a French gentleman, a Russian woman and me with us switching between French and English when looking to clarify meaning. We also spoke about how we create our own reality by the stories we tell ourselves. I loved it! I love a good philosophical conversation.
By the end of January, I was enjoying myself so much here and I was so comfortable in my cozy village house with its little garden I did not want to pull those suitcases out just yet, but I knew I needed a plan. First, I needed to sit with myself and ask, “could I just stay here and not explore the remaining places on my list?” When sitting with this question I knew that I would always wonder what I may have found in those places but on the other hand I knew that I no longer wanted to take quite as long as I had been thinking for this process. Originally, I was giving myself all of 2025 to explore different areas and decide where I would want to put down roots. So, I knew I had to make some choices and put some guardrails on myself. So, I mapped out a plan and watched how I felt as I did so.
First decision, when will I have this process completed. When will I decide where I will plant roots? I looked at the list of places remaining to explore and I decided 6 additional months, by the end of July I will choose. I have also made a bargain with myself that if at that time I don’t feel like I can choose I will put the names of the places in a hat and pick one because the fact of the matter is that so far every place has been perfect and imperfect in their own way and all of them I can be happy in because the place isn’t determining my happiness, I am.
With my deadline in mind and knowing that I just wasn’t yet ready to leave Perigueux and that 2nd Prefecture appointment letter was still unreceived I decided to stay in Perigueux a few extra weeks.
Keeping in mind what I may need to do if the Prefecture appointment comes after I leave Perigueux, which is surely now my reality, I decided to go to Céret next.
What draws me to check out Céret is the fact that it is known for its artists with many writers, poets and painters living there. It is also its location about 30 minutes to the beaches of the Mediterranean and 30 minutes to the border with Spain. With Céret being much further south in France it will be a bit warmer and a bit sunnier, things I am looking forward to. On the downside, it will rank the lowest on my travel connections criteria since it is 30 minutes to a very small not so connect airport in Perpignan although there is a train station there, it would just mean lots of extra hops through other places to get most anywhere. Even with the limited travel, it is still a place that I feel like I want to spend some time in so I am trusting that feeling and going for it.
After Céret I will spend some time around Nice and go back to Annecy for a longer period with a few weeks also back in Eymet in the Dordogne. With my storage unit, a fabulous hairdresser, a pet boarder that Paolo loves, my personal banker who is wonderful and patient with all my questions and of course great friends in that area it is a place I will continue to return to when I need to take care of life until I know where I am planting myself, once I do; then obviously I will focus on transitioning things if I need to.
I realize at this point I am likely signing up to traverse the south of France back and forth a bit more than I would have liked but I also want to be on the other side of this selection process. I am ready to find my own place and get all my things here and begin building a life that I won’t move away from. Besides Paolo and I tend to enjoy our roadtrips and the French auto route system is pretty easy to navigate with a good map app and a credit card for those toll booths.
One final thought to share, the other day Paolo and I went out for a walk, since we can see the Vesone Tower from our home we walked that way. I knew it was a Roman ruin, but I didn’t know much else when we started out but I did know that it was surrounded by gardens and would make for a lovely afternoon walk. As it turns out the Vesone Tower is the remains of a Gallo-Roman temple dedicated to Vesunna, the tutelary goddess of the Petrocores . The sanctuary was built in the 1st or 2nd century . Vesunna was the Gallo-Roman name for Périgueux, There is a large excavation site near the tower that there is a museum built over so you can explore the excavated ruin from above. Just a random afternoon walk in France can lead to exploring ancient history.
I am continuing to explore a few questions along this journey to focus on being present and being connected to my body and my feelings.
- How do I feel right now?
- What made me joyful today?
- When was I happiest today?
Finally, some breadcrumbs of things I am noodling on.
- Exploring how I can share my planning experience with the rest of the world
- Connecting with Writing Wisdom again
- Exploring my own creativity
More to come on all these things as well as my continued goldilocks journey in France.
I blog because I love the process of questioning my life, questioning my beliefs and questioning the stories that I tell myself. If you want to question yourself, then subscribing to my email list will ensure you have an opportunity to do that. I blog about once a month so you will not receive a ton of emails from me, only what I hope to be the best questions that we can ask ourselves to move our life toward our dreams each day.
In love,
Renée
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