I have sat down to write this blog several times in the last week and I just can’t get it out, each time I have ended up writing about the changes that I have going on in my life that are beyond hard, beyond emotional and freaking heartbreaking. I end up in tears and know that I am still processing it all in a way that I just can’t seem to get out just yet.
When I started this blog 32 weeks ago, I saw it as a commitment to a regular writing practice, a commitment to myself and a commitment to show up for you the reader consistently.
I usually post this blog on Monday evening and as I write these words it is now Wednesday morning. I sit in a room with my life in boxes the symbols of change all around me.
When I have made commitments in the past, I have always felt them as obligations and just that word “obligation” has a heaviness to it that I do not want anywhere in my life. Certainly no where near my writing! I want things to flow through my life not be done because I feel like I have to.
So last night when I was in tears about everything, I got a Voxer message from a girlfriend and she said, “why don’t you just give yourself a pass and not write a blog this week”. It was as if she gave me permission to do something that I could not do for myself. So, this week, this is all I have, all I can give to this page, I am physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted and I need to replenish myself. I need to give myself a pass for this week. This is my pass.
Where in your life do you need to give yourself a pass?